As a career-minded urban-dwelling American in 2012, I’ve often felt on the fringes for not structuring my life as if my hair is on fire.
I’m one of those people who tries hard not to be busy. I limit my volunteering to passion projects. I say no to a lot of requests from the parent committee at school. My kids are happily underscheduled. Laundry sits unfolded.
I admit it … I preserve as much white space as possible in my week. I value down time. I am a leisure lover.
Rarely do I feel any sympathy when someone grumbles about how busy they are. Especially when they wear it as a badge of honor. I’m important because I’ve got so much going on.
Whether your affiliation lays with TEAM BUSY or TEAM CHILL, you’ll find something you can relate to in Tim Kreider’s recent New York Times essay, The ‘Busy’ Trap. Like Kreider, I’ve also observed:
“It’s almost always people whose lamented busyness is purely self-imposed: work and obligations they’ve taken on voluntarily, classes and activities they’ve ‘encouraged’ their kids to participate in. They’re busy because of their own ambition or drive or anxiety …”
If your busyness is a choice, makes you happy and enhances your quality of life, by all means continue.
But if your busyness stresses you out, impacts your health or leaves you feeling scattered and unfulfilled, then ask yourself:
- What are my motivations? What inspires me?
- What exactly am I chasing after?
- How will this benefit me in the future?
- What would happen if I didn’t do this?
- How frequently do I unplug?
Like most things in life, how we choose to spend our time on earth comes down to what really matters. The other stuff can probably wait.
Marta Steele is a Partner at PeopleResults. You can connect with her on Twitter @MartaSteele or through email at msteele@people-results.com.
Photo courtesy of mendhamchester-online.com
Hi Marta – I agree that there are people who “bring it upon themselves” but there are others who simply have more balls they are juggling…and not always one’s that they want.
I’ve also observed that it’s not necessarily about being “busy” but can alternately be related to feelings of being overwhelmed which can stem from multiple areas – emotional, intellectual, financial which translate into people talking about being “busy.”
I do agree that many people seem to overschedule not just themselves but also their children. Whitespace is good. It will get filled up one way or another.
I’ve found to be particularly freeing is reducing my use (or one might say dependence on) to-do lists. I’ve found that if it is truly important, I’m sure to get it done without the reminder!
Hum, wonder if I should go do some housework now. On no, off to read a book (not work related) instead.
Marta and Faith, good perspectives. Thanks, Marta, for the reminder and challenge that we have much more control about whether we’re ‘busy’ than we admit. I had a friend several years ago that committed to stop answering the question “How are you?” with “very busy” to avoid perpetuating the badge of honor mentality you mentioned.
I agree, Faith. I find it’s generally not people who are working back to back jobs, caring for an ailing parent, or raising a special needs child claiming their busyness badge of honor.
What great ideas from you and Joe. I’m going to think twice about my to-do list from now on.
Let’s all ban “so busy” as an answer to “how are you?” I love that!
I love the ban for “busy” as a response to “how are you?” It’s so cliche nowadays anyway. I used to have a boss who was always so busy she never stopped to enjoy a moment of her day, and I felt sad for her. Rushing from meeting to meeting, never appreciating the little things. The article is a good reminder and I’m going to see if I can ban “busy” as a response for me!
Thank you Elaine. It is sad to miss the little things. I’m glad we’ve added another member to the “Ban Busy As An Answer” club!
Great article, Marta.
Stillness, quiet, reflection, calm: almost dirty words for some people. It’s true, for me at least, the adage, “if you want something done give it to a busy person.” That adrenaline rush of accomplishment is a powerful motivator for some of us. The wise ones know how to balance both ends of the spectrum.