Are You Genuinely Happy When Others Succeed?

In a recent conversation with one of my female clients, she asked me, “Why don’t many of the women in senior level positions take a more active role to promote and mentor the other women in the company?” While I’ve not done extensive research on the topic, there are a few articles that offer some answers: The Real Reason Women Don’t Help Other Women at Work,  Women Penalized For Promoting Women and Women As Mentors; Does She or Doesn’t She?

bigstock--125177909However, the question got me thinking about this issue. I’m fortunate to be associated, now and in the past, with many professional women who DO HELP and look out for the interests of others … including other women! When I reflect on why they are willing to help others succeed, it boils down to their mental framework. It’s about the lens in which they view the world – they have an abundance mentality!

My definition of an abundance mentality is about thinking that there is enough opportunity to go around so everyone can have a part in the success. It shows up in leaders who freely give people autonomy to take on a new challenge without having to be in the middle of it all, who look for ways to give their folks exposure to initiatives that are highly visible in the organization and share the credit for a job well done.

How would you rate your abundance mentality?

If a little soul-searching is required, ask yourself these questions:

  • Do I take things too seriously by viewing opportunities as “make it or break it” or “I only have one shot at this?”
  • Do I regularly hold back my ideas and other information with peers, afraid they will claim them for their own? What have been the results for me in those situations?
  • Do I appreciate what I do have? An attitude of gratitude for all the positive aspects of my life?
  • Am I surrounding myself with positive influences? People, TV/Radio shows, books, music that makes me feel good?
  • What reasons do I have for not being happy about another person succeeding?

I do believe in the Law of Attraction – what you put out into the world comes back to you.

I consistently observe that when leaders demonstrate a mindset of abundance, more opportunities seem to come THEIR way. Remember, there are plenty of opportunities available and if you feel restricted, it could be a signal to look at things with a different perspective or look for a way to make a change in your situation.

If you’d like to make a shift from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset, I’ll offer one simple action to take – begin a Gratefulness Journal. Use it daily to reflect on all the positive things to appreciate in your day. This daily practice can help you focus on what you DO HAVE vs. what you don’t have. When you see all the positive things happening and available to you, your perspective changes and you recognize the goodness all around you.

There is something about seeing the list of positives in writing that makes it more tangible. I’ve had days when my list is short, but then I look at my entry “healthy and active” and realize when I have that, I am equipped to take on just about anything!

This journaling habit leads to a lightness to each day and it’s contagious! People are interested in being around others who share a positive nature about them. “Abundancity” (my new word) will attract like-minded people, creating a healthy cycle of energy.

So grab a notebook, pen and a grateful heart and begin inking your way to abundancity!

Martha Duesterhoft is a Partner with PeopleResults. Follow her on Twitter @mduesterhoft or connect via email at